Supporting a Sick Friend

How to Help Out When a Loved One Is in the Hospital

Dec 12, 2007
Dee Dee Smith

Make your hospital visits short and sweet. - www.free-stock-photos.com

Following is a list of things to do, and things not to do when a friend or relative has taken ill.

Being in or having a loved one in the hospital can be a very stressful situation. Friends, relatives and neighbors can either help or be more of a hindrance. Suite 101 spoke with some individuals who were or have had a relative hospitalized for a critical illness. We asked them to recall what helpful things others did for them, and things that were more of a nuisance.

Hospital Etiquette:

Don’t just drop by the hospital for a visit. It is appalling to think that neighbors or associates who are not close to someone might stop by to visit them in the hospital, but it does happen. If you do not regularly spend time with someone, you probably should not visit them while they are hospitalized. Even if you are a close friend or relative, you should check with the immediate family to see if a visit is welcomed. When visiting keep your visits brief and few.
Don't blow up the hospital phone. If you are a close friend or relative, it is okay to call the patient in the hospital. When you do, you should only let the phone ring a few times. If no one answers after just a few rings, you should hang up. The patient may be resting or in the middle of a procedure. Keep all phone calls short and sweet.

Talking With Your Ill Friend And/Or Their Family:

Be a good listener and confidante. Everyone says that one of the biggest blessings is someone trustworthy and caring to talk to.
Fight the urge to ask a lot of questions. Sure you care and want to know about the prognosis and progress of the patient. But remember that many people are very private when it comes to their health. Be respectful of their right to privacy and do not pry. Allow them to share with you what they want to tell you.
Don’t be a messenger of doom and gloom. Okay you had a cousin that had the same condition and passed away as a result. This is not the time to share this story. Instead be positive and encouraging no matter the situation.

Benevolence/Showing That You Care:

Offer your services to help in any way that is needed. You’d be amazed at how just running a couple of simple errands can be a huge help to a family in crisis. Write a simple “thinking of you” card and offer your help. Be sure to include your phone number(s) and e-mail address for easy contact.
Other helpful ideas might include cleaning up the yard, shoveling the snow or preparing a meal for the family. Whatever you do, make it simple as to not cause more stress on the family.
Send cards. It's a simple gesture, but very meaningful to anyone who is hospitalized for more than a few days.